Thursday, Aug. 12, 2010 

Dear Bob:    

There really is light at the end of the tunnel!  I saw it this week, after one year, three months.  Don’t move, buy or sell or make big decisions for at least a year.

You have lost half of yourself.  You will find memory of your good wife, continually, everywhere.  They will be good memories, treasure them, they will fade.

You will still hear sounds you thot she made!  Some are natural, some outside, some are from yourself.  Some times you wonder when she will be back.

When good or bad things happen, you will want to tell her.

While you are living alone, try to keep a routine, of sleeping, eating, living that matches the rest of the world.  As much as possible, try to care for yourself, laundry, shopping, bills etc. Grown and loving children are a Godsend!

I have found that going out for breakfast, routinely, starts my day and is good for the car, replaces some of the small things she did for me.  And is not quite like eating alone.  Don’t try to forget her.  You never will.  But She will fade, and you wont like that either.

We already had a cleaning lady and yardman.  But I am older! Just now 94.  I found an antique buttonhook! (For shoes) With it, I can button my shirt and p.j.s.

I think survivors are actually ill. Last week, I was driving back up from McDonalds. The harbor and sky were beautiful, I felt good in my clothes, I felt  well!  I had forgotten that feeling.  Bob, be looking for this day, I am sure that it will come to you.  There are tears sometimes, but there will be peace.

 Best, Newcomb